behaviour

Be Yourself

Be yourself.jpg

The Ethical Code of the Month for February is Satya – truthfulness.
Satya is about truth but not necessarily always being brutally honest with people in a way that offends. 
It relates to honesty with yourself and integrity in what you do.

Start by being honest with yourself – what are your strengths and weaknesses, what can you do less of, or more of? honestly.

Book Release "Furry Angels, Dog Education Method"

Last weekend Professor DeRose released his book Furry Angels with a book signing held at DeRose Method TriBeCa.

DeRose wrote this book to share all the wonderful tips the author has learned since beginning the education of Jaya, a weimaraner, a large dog breed that has been unfairly accused of being difficult to train. While this book is not intended to teach dog training techniques, the author has managed to get great results, winning a companion for walks, playing around, traveling, hanging out at the beach, visiting friends, being a loved one at work, and company in bed. Jaya is so well behaved that she has even been to the theatre with her human.

About the author:
In 1960 Professor DeRose started to teach a discipline that later was registered as the DeROSE Method, with the goal of promoting high performance in sports, work and human relations. Over the years, the DeROSE Method has expanded to multiple countries.

DeRose published his first book in 1969. In 2015 he had written over 30 books that are published in France, England, Spain, Italy, Portugal, Argentina, Brazil and the United States. He has been giving courses in many different universities in Europe and in the Americas since the 1970’s. DeRose has become recognized as an accomplished writer, tireless educator, professor in the behavioral area for 56 years and publisher since 2005.

If you want a copy write us SouthKen.UK@derosemethod.org.

Happiness - The High Performance Accelarator

A theme always in vogue in various areas is  high performance. Books on the subject in sports, business, relational, multiply the shelves of bookstores. We see TV shows talking about how to be number one in anything: tennis, soccer, running, and not only that, how to get rich, how to influence people and so on. But what really is high performance? What is to be done? What is success? How do you measure that? I have to be better than the other or that is a perception of myself?

In a society increasingly competitive and individualistic, we tend to perceive our only comparatively achievements, if we are in the first place on the podium is what counts.

Is that what really sets if we have success, if we are made, if we have an excellent performance? Victor Frankl wrote the book In Search of Meaning, after having been  years stuck in a concentration camp in Nazi Germany in the Great World War 2 and noted that in those extreme pain and suffering people who survived had something in common: after all , be sure that life had a greater sense and those who lost their perspective, delivered the adverse circumstances surrounding them did not last more than a few days.

According to research from Harvard University, doctors in a positive state of mind shown three times more intelligence and creativity than those who are in a pessimistic or neutral state and has 19% more accurately and quickly in their diagnosis. This same survey shows that optimistic salespeople close more business 56% that pessimistic or neutral.

We are very much focused on what we should not do and what we did wrong, we learn through pain, we can not see that happiness comes before success, but if we are more positive since the beginning of our path to success and the achievement of our goals and objectives we will be more likely to achieve the results we want. If we see sense in what we are doing we will have more strength to endure any difficulties that life in present along the way.

People who seek a different result for life, for competitions, for their companies has very interesting features: it does not have the ideal conditions for expected result happens, they create them; focuses above average in their activities; assume responsibility for the outcome of their actions and do not put the blame for his mistakes on others; has more proactive and positive attitude to life events, among others.

To break the inertia, you must first be willing to leave the common place and incorporate the conviction that today should be better than yesterday and tomorrow better than today. Understand that having a great life requires discipline, patience and humility. And before all this started any journey with joy, and enthusiasm, because there is no guarantee that we will get the target we want, then do not take the process we will be putting our lives out. Try! GET INSPIRED!

Fabiano Defferrari Gomes

[Original text by Fabiano Defferrari Gomes, translated by Sonia]

Stop Complaining

Author: Gustavo Cardoso Some time ago, a friend of mine was unexpectedly asked to teach an extraordinary class and I was tasked with picking up her son at his school. As soon as I saw the boy at the entrance of the school, before we could even say hello, he asked me, “where is my mother?” As he said this he sounded mushy and sad as he realised that his mother was not going to pick him up at school.

As we walked back home he asked me, “what are we having for dinner”. I promptly replied that we would have wild rice with sun dried tomatoes and artichokes. At this point he deflated like a balloon, it seemed a helpless situation.

Like in a scene from a movie, halfway through our walk home, his eyes drenched, he said: “if only you knew how hard my life is.”

The hilarious nature of the situation struck me hard and I had to make a super-human effort not to laugh. Nonetheless, I understood he felt he had a colossal and deep drama in his life, indeed a very difficult place to be at.

When I look back at this scene I always feel warmth in my heart as I know the little boy has overcome his drama. Today he loves the dish we had for dinner that night and he is, everyday, more independent from his mother.

This boy was 7 years old at the time. No one could remove his right to feel what he was feeling, and we, as adults, have the obligation to give him as much support and affection as was necessary to help him overcome all the obstacles in life empowering him to succeed as a person.

I can absolutely understand this behaviour in a boy, but it is when adults are having this behaviour that I get confounded. Why would they waste their energy complaining about life? When have complaints ever changed anything. Life only changes with attitudes. What changes our lives are actions, not complaints.

There is a very famous phrase from a Brazilian priest which states:

"Our actions make us who we are. What is not done does not exist. Therefore, we only really exist when we are taking actions. On those days in which we do nothing, we merely survive."

I cannot agree enough with this gentleman, I think this phrase is fantastic.

What intrigues me is to see people who have everything in life and still continue complaining. Very much like the young boy. We can easily relate to this boy’s situation to model and understand our own complaints. He was but a few moments from seeing and enjoying the company of his mother. He had a delicious dinner ready for him. Yet, he still regarded his situation as hopeless. This anxiety, however, is understandable when coming from a child who does not have many years of experience.

But if you are an adult who has lived, who has experienced many situations both pleasurable and harsh, if you catch yourself complaining, try substituting your complaints with the following: What can I do to change this situation? This inevitably leads to asking yourself the only pertinent question:

What is it that I am not doing, but which, if I did do, would change everything?

The answer to this question normally is not complaining. What we find is that most of the time we fail to change, to improve, not because it is impossible, but rather, because we create the barriers ourselves, we think we cannot change. So all that is left is complaining.

I can assure, with a fair amount of certainty, that people generally fail to change, not because they don’t want to, but because we are paralysed from fear of what could result if we indeed changed.

Once, when I was talking with a great teacher and friend about this subject I asked him at the height of my innocence, “Professor, why are some people so happy and have such good lives whilst others live so miserably in spite of having all the resources and access to education, health, transportation, everything that is necessary to live a good life?”

He humbled me with his answer, “Gustavo, we are addicted to mediocrity”

I agree with him, there are aspects of my life I know I need to change but sometimes I find myself complaining. I cannot speak of the anger I feel with myself when I catch myself behaving this way, for I know it will not take me anywhere, it will solve nothing whilst wasting my energy complaining.

What I would like to ask you, dear reader, is: what is your attitude towards life? Are a complainer or a doer?