emotional control

Be Yourself

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The Ethical Code of the Month for February is Satya – truthfulness.
Satya is about truth but not necessarily always being brutally honest with people in a way that offends. 
It relates to honesty with yourself and integrity in what you do.

Start by being honest with yourself – what are your strengths and weaknesses, what can you do less of, or more of? honestly.

4 Exercises to Better Handle Anxiety, Fear, and Anger

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How a person deals with other human beings is a big factor in whether or not he or she succeeds in business and life. It involves emotional intelligence (EI), or the ability to recognize and appropriately react to feelings in yourself and the people around you, particularly when it comes to handling stress and frustration. According to Gustavo Oliveira - a consultant who has helped about 2,000 people worldwide improve their EI using something called The DeRose Method - it's a skill everyone can sharpen. Here are his words on four ways to build your emotional intelligence.

1. Study yourself.

To get a better understanding of your emotional responses, behaviors, and where your weaknesses may lie, learn to pay attention to your reactions and behaviors. And ask people close to you--only if they'll be honest--to tell you what areas of your personality need work.

2. Manage emotions during stressful situations by breathing correctly.

Deep and steady breathing through the nose with a relaxed ribcage is one of the best ways to lower stress in the body, and strong medicine for anxiety, fear and anger. Deep breathing sends a message to your brain to calm down and relax. The brain then sends this message to your body, resulting in a lower heart rate and blood pressure. And when you are relaxed and calm you can better manage your immediate emotions.

3. Channel your emotions.

One powerful method of handling negative emotions is to transform negative energies into positive ones by redirecting them to fuel new opportunities. For example, in 2009 I was expanding two successful businesses. Two years later, both had failed and my money was gone. I was crushed, frustrated and disappointed, but instead of letting my emotions reinforce an unproductive mindset and behaviors, I took a five-hour drive and started thinking about ways I could channel the power of frustration into something positive. During this time, I realized that my failures actually taught me many valuable lessons on how to run a business and the things that must be avoided. I decided to teach these lessons to others and created a course which was a huge success and became an amazing new asset.

4. Transmute your emotions.

Try to transform negative feelings such as anger, hatred, pain, and jealousy into positive ones such as, love, admiration, compassion and kindness. For example, I had a student who was a professional stand-up paddle (SUP) athlete and would become emotionally unstable every time a competitor provoked him during competitions, which would negatively impact his performance. So, I created a behavioral training response for him: I asked him to smile at the competitor, row harder and intensify his focus. With time and training his response improved drastically and his new and unexpected behavior destabilized the competitors who provoked him.

Envy is another common negative emotion. Some of my students have admitted that the achievements of others make them feel as though if they are not good enough. I train them to transform the feeling and substitute it with admiration for the person's success. They come to see it as an opportunity to learn from the person's strengths, which is a more useful and productive response.

Original article published here:

https://www.inc.com/christina-desmarais/4-simple-ways-to-increase-your-emotional-intelligence.html

Flexibility in life

Have you ever thought that flexibility has an impact on our emotions and mind?

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Our body is a blank canvas where the reactions to our emotions and thoughts are drawn and painted.

In nature there is no vacuum. Everything we think and feel has an impact on our body and vice versa. Try to work on flexibility, working the range of movements and joints, stretching your tendons and feel your mind and emotions getting flexible as well.

The attention we give to our body, the care we must feel when we stretch to don't feel pain, the persistence to stretch today an inch more than yesterday, is something we will take to our life the moment we leave the classroom!

Through flexibility we realize that achievements are gradual, and a result of persistence and attention to detail!

Our behavior and the way we see the world become lighter and adaptable to the moment.

To be flexible is much more than touching the forehead on the knees. To be flexible is to be able to have a fast, adaptable, tolerant and capacity to find solutions.

Text adapted, article by Inst. Sónia Saraiva

Do you want to know more?
Book an complementary assessment with us.

Absorbing the effects of the techniques

Managing stress, refining emotions  In the deepest state of rest and absorption of the effects of the techniques, the regeneration that takes place goes beyond the mere physical metabolization, by which all organic tissues are revitalized and strengthened, directed for perfect functioning, health and longevity. In this deep state pre-conceptions as well as prejudices are suspended, those reserves that prevent us from self-awareness and, ultimately, from self-realization.

Even if we don't realize it, an important part of our drive is dissipated with the clash between conscious intentions and unconscious dispositions, very often resistances to conscious intents - not always for our benefit. This inner tension is expressed through a high level of stress and overwhelming emotions. The intimate personal work that takes place during the deeper stage promotes changes on conscious intentions and unconscious dispositions, according to the truest aspirations of the individual.

The disagreement between both conscious and unconscious determinations is gradually solved, as goals that assert the true aspirations come through and are addressed. This diminishes and eventually stops the dissipation of one's finest driving energy, enabling it to be purposefully directed to those aims. With the regular practice of this technique of absorption of the effects, especially when preceded by the other techniques (breathing, organic cleansing and physical positions, and others), the practitioner builds the setting for personal accomplishment that is gradually translated into the practical initiatives that design a harmonious reality, free of stress and rich with favorable emotions.

Almost immediately after I started to train, I felt like I had nerves of steel...

"Almost immediately after I started to train, I felt like I had nerves of steel, perfect concentration, and I was in great physical shape. I am convinced that this method is the best for reaching my maximum performance."

A wonderful testimonial from Edoardo Liberati, Lamborghini driver and student of Carlo Mea at DeRose Method Rome.

The Happiness Syndrome

"If you feel unhappy without reason, or apportion these reasons so small, it may be because you are too happy and is unable to metabolize these happiness. Something like indigestion from too much happiness. Think about it and stop complaining in life. Look for some ideal, art, philanthropy and start having to fight for it. You never need to take Prozac." DeRose

Modern man in evolutionary transition has always sought to win and the incentive to win, for millions of years, has been to gain a sense of satisfaction on an emotional and physiological level.  

As humans, when we feel threatened our in-built design to fight or flight takes charge.  If we manage to fight or flight with success, we manage to overcome threatening situations.  

Fighting to win or flighting the clutches of some predator are two scenarios which involve a struggle through which by defeating another, man can satisfy his core needs.  This is at the centre of man’s instincts.  

The trouble for man begins however when neither outcome, fight nor flight, takes effect.  If unable to outdo or flee such an undesirable despot or situation, what triggers immediately is something else leading to a whole host of physiological disorders.  This ‘something else’ has been extensively studied and analysed for many years, in laboratories and in life.

What has resulted from such analysis is “The Happiness Syndrome”.  This phenomena presents an alternative reality to the one we’ve been discussing above. Instead of fighting or fleeing a situation, a surrendering to the status quo takes place.  

Now the human brain has the sophisticated potential to surrender in this way and therefore suppress the need for a euphoric fight or flight.  But by not meeting this instinctive need the brain (ego) steps in and creates explanations for such a defeat, which fails to meet our instinctive drives.

We can call this a false justification and no human, whatever age or background is exempt from such a sorry state.  If such a state of self continues, in short, the individual will without a doubt begin to feel a total lack of satisfaction in life, simply due to the fact that the instinctive drives to fight or flight are not being fulfilled.  

Instead, a state of falsehood or limbo takes over leaving the individual without any experience of reward or achievement.  This absence of struggle to accomplish anything successfully through any kind of adversity is what contributes to The Happiness Syndrome.

The thing we as humans need to avoid is for this ‘unconscious’ state to set in, which mitigates our discontent by serialising unhappy incidents in our lives with convenient (and false) stories which only perpetuate conditions for us to remain in discontent for far too long.

To become conscious is to remind ourselves of our natural and instinctive drives, and to then accept how beneficial all adversity and challenge can be for us.

If factors in our society and within our four walls do not challenge us or our status quo, then we run the risk of preferring an almost static existence where we choose not to engage with opportunities.  Instead we suffocate our basic human drives from being fulfilled therefore keeping ourselves from enjoying a true state of happiness.

Article by Prof DeRose. Newly revised Serena Desai.