Good Human Relations

Flexibility in life

Have you ever thought that flexibility has an impact on our emotions and mind?

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Our body is a blank canvas where the reactions to our emotions and thoughts are drawn and painted.

In nature there is no vacuum. Everything we think and feel has an impact on our body and vice versa. Try to work on flexibility, working the range of movements and joints, stretching your tendons and feel your mind and emotions getting flexible as well.

The attention we give to our body, the care we must feel when we stretch to don't feel pain, the persistence to stretch today an inch more than yesterday, is something we will take to our life the moment we leave the classroom!

Through flexibility we realize that achievements are gradual, and a result of persistence and attention to detail!

Our behavior and the way we see the world become lighter and adaptable to the moment.

To be flexible is much more than touching the forehead on the knees. To be flexible is to be able to have a fast, adaptable, tolerant and capacity to find solutions.

Text adapted, article by Inst. Sónia Saraiva

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Book Release "Furry Angels, Dog Education Method"

Last weekend Professor DeRose released his book Furry Angels with a book signing held at DeRose Method TriBeCa.

DeRose wrote this book to share all the wonderful tips the author has learned since beginning the education of Jaya, a weimaraner, a large dog breed that has been unfairly accused of being difficult to train. While this book is not intended to teach dog training techniques, the author has managed to get great results, winning a companion for walks, playing around, traveling, hanging out at the beach, visiting friends, being a loved one at work, and company in bed. Jaya is so well behaved that she has even been to the theatre with her human.

About the author:
In 1960 Professor DeRose started to teach a discipline that later was registered as the DeROSE Method, with the goal of promoting high performance in sports, work and human relations. Over the years, the DeROSE Method has expanded to multiple countries.

DeRose published his first book in 1969. In 2015 he had written over 30 books that are published in France, England, Spain, Italy, Portugal, Argentina, Brazil and the United States. He has been giving courses in many different universities in Europe and in the Americas since the 1970’s. DeRose has become recognized as an accomplished writer, tireless educator, professor in the behavioral area for 56 years and publisher since 2005.

If you want a copy write us SouthKen.UK@derosemethod.org.

What keeps us happy and healthy as we go through life?

If you think it's fame and money, you're not alone – but, according to psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, you're mistaken. As the director of a 75-year-old study on adult development, Waldinger has unprecedented access to data on true happiness and satisfaction.

In this talk, he shares three important lessons learned from the study as well as some practical, old-as-the-hills wisdom on how to build a fulfilling, long life.

Source: www.ted.com

What is our definition of Quality of Life?

Quality of life is to make your existence uncomplicated, to do what gives you pleasure, with joy, health and well-being.

Quality of life is to fulfil physiological and ergonomic needs, to adopt habits that improve and maintain the functionality of the body, emotions and intellect. It is the improvement and development of our abilities, in relation to the triad: good nutrition, good health and good mind.

Quality of life is to relate in a relaxed, ethical and responsible manner towards nature and your surrounding socio-cultural environment. It is to aspire to always share and integrate: with generosity, grace, respect and affection in all human relations. It is to adopt a set of values that include exceptional civility, culture and education.

Quality of life is to adopt a vision of the world that motivates us to pursue development and continuous improvement, realising personal excellence by means of study, ideals and self-knowledge.

Quality of life is to keep expenditure below your earnings. It is to live near your work. To eat frugally. To be able to find satisfaction in everything. To spend time with friends and acquaintances. To give flowers to the people you love. To not let the pitfalls of life get you down. To love frankly and forgive sincerely.

These are our values.

DeRose

Let us help you to create your New Year's Resolutions

Every year the same: eat healthier, exercise more, start something new, enjoy more life, .... the list goes one. 2015 is almost upon us and it's time to write a fresh list of New Year’s resolutions – ones you’ll actually keep this time, the whole year through. Maybe!

Let's put aside those standard irreal resolutions and rather make a flashback and evaluate yourself. Make a kind of self study and set up realistic goals based in long term habits which will really transform your life.

But where to begin? Ask yourself:

What were your most fulfilling moments of 2015?

Can you think about times when your life was really moving? Maybe it was a work promotion, a trip, a simple walk to the park, a festive day, an investment done ... 

Who are the people who supported you this year?

Remember that time you were really in a bind, and that special someone who came through for you? Think about the people who really helped you out this year, in a work-related or personal scenario

Now, simple make your new year's resolutions based in what made you happier in 2015:

Whatever it is, make a resolution to do more of what made you happier. Sometimes, instead of racking your brain to think of new ideas, remember what worked well in the past. Do more. And stick on the people who supported you and make it a resolution to build your friendships with them.

Most important: Make the decision to make your 2016 a fullfilled year!

"Everyday people are improving their lives. It is simply a matter of a decision being made. Let it be you!" Jim Rohn

Evolving Leadership Concepts

by Edgardo Caramella

There are many different ways and even more opinions about how to lead groups of people. I have been in a leadership role for decades and I can attest that times have changed. The social and individual needs have changed and this forces us to rethink the ways we lead.

Modern man is not satisfied merely with gaining economic benefit. He needs to feel that he is part of the process he is participating in. Work should boost self-esteem and personal fulfillment, which is then projected into future achievements.

From my experience leading diverse groups, I would like to suggest that the first thing you do is leave behind the image of a hard and rigid leader, someone who constantly makes known their position of power through intimidation, giving orders and punishments to those who don’t submit to their directives.

Anyone who leads with intimidation is inevitably doomed for failure, will struggle to reach their goals or evolve as a leader. And, even worse, will be completely alone and isolated.

Today leaders must build trust. They can no longer simply giving orders and expect results. Instead, they need to develop the art of persuasion and achieve a synergy within the team of collaborators. A leader must be a facilitator, discovering the talents and skills of the team in order to direct those aptitudes towards the task at hand. They need to the entire group to interact to create a learning experience that progresses like a upward spiral.

Leaders must care for and meet the needs of coworkers, establishing human relationships built on trust, mutual support, interest in the task and personal evolution. In turn, the group of employees should be involved in every way, providing physical, emotional and mental energies moving together in the direction of the objective.

Primary among the many items a leader should share with the team is information. There are those who do not share vital information with others out of fear or in an attempt to protect a perceived competitive advantage, creating a gap of knowledge that will only lead to lower group performance and disinterested collaborators. Information is fuel to the fire and, as such, must reach the group to become creative energy.

Today we have the technological tools to facilitate the flow of information, but we shouldn’t ignore the value of frequent personal encounters, when sincere eye contact, handshake, hug, or conversation strengthen bonds which are the flame that forges a genuine connection.

This does not mean that everyone should love each other deeply. It’s about generating connections, respect, strategic and smart partnerships that are above any emotional differences in order to carry out strategic planning and the realization of goals established as a guideline by the leader.

Another powerful element that solidifies and enhances a group’s cohesion is value. We must ensure that ethics, truth, solidarity, the application of basic concepts of good citizenship, tolerance and good manners all predominate within the organization. The leader must be a consistent example, constantly striving, available 24 hours and always training to be better. It’s essential that you continue to grow as a human being and share your knowledge with others.

I recommend using the context of "us" more and “me" less, as a way of thinking, being, feeling and expressing oneself. This allows the leader to maintain his status while achieving broader acceptance among his subordinates, preserving the emphasis on group synergy as well as the leader’s assigned authority.

Remember that authority only arises with the group’s acceptance of an individual as the most capable to lead. The power, however, is often obtained from circumstances that are not related to the ability of who has it.

The task of sharing information is essential because it generates acceptance, appreciation, and releases energy that will multiply exponentially.

The leader's job comes with great responsibility because the group being led incorporates the leader’s behaviors. This dynamic should be an asset and can be easily managed if the leader is sincere.

If we want to perform as good leaders, we must try to build the best version of ourselves as human beings. Work on what we are to do what we do best!

The Happiness Syndrome

"If you feel unhappy without reason, or apportion these reasons so small, it may be because you are too happy and is unable to metabolize these happiness. Something like indigestion from too much happiness. Think about it and stop complaining in life. Look for some ideal, art, philanthropy and start having to fight for it. You never need to take Prozac." DeRose

Modern man in evolutionary transition has always sought to win and the incentive to win, for millions of years, has been to gain a sense of satisfaction on an emotional and physiological level.  

As humans, when we feel threatened our in-built design to fight or flight takes charge.  If we manage to fight or flight with success, we manage to overcome threatening situations.  

Fighting to win or flighting the clutches of some predator are two scenarios which involve a struggle through which by defeating another, man can satisfy his core needs.  This is at the centre of man’s instincts.  

The trouble for man begins however when neither outcome, fight nor flight, takes effect.  If unable to outdo or flee such an undesirable despot or situation, what triggers immediately is something else leading to a whole host of physiological disorders.  This ‘something else’ has been extensively studied and analysed for many years, in laboratories and in life.

What has resulted from such analysis is “The Happiness Syndrome”.  This phenomena presents an alternative reality to the one we’ve been discussing above. Instead of fighting or fleeing a situation, a surrendering to the status quo takes place.  

Now the human brain has the sophisticated potential to surrender in this way and therefore suppress the need for a euphoric fight or flight.  But by not meeting this instinctive need the brain (ego) steps in and creates explanations for such a defeat, which fails to meet our instinctive drives.

We can call this a false justification and no human, whatever age or background is exempt from such a sorry state.  If such a state of self continues, in short, the individual will without a doubt begin to feel a total lack of satisfaction in life, simply due to the fact that the instinctive drives to fight or flight are not being fulfilled.  

Instead, a state of falsehood or limbo takes over leaving the individual without any experience of reward or achievement.  This absence of struggle to accomplish anything successfully through any kind of adversity is what contributes to The Happiness Syndrome.

The thing we as humans need to avoid is for this ‘unconscious’ state to set in, which mitigates our discontent by serialising unhappy incidents in our lives with convenient (and false) stories which only perpetuate conditions for us to remain in discontent for far too long.

To become conscious is to remind ourselves of our natural and instinctive drives, and to then accept how beneficial all adversity and challenge can be for us.

If factors in our society and within our four walls do not challenge us or our status quo, then we run the risk of preferring an almost static existence where we choose not to engage with opportunities.  Instead we suffocate our basic human drives from being fulfilled therefore keeping ourselves from enjoying a true state of happiness.

Article by Prof DeRose. Newly revised Serena Desai.